That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
