chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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