I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
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