Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
sarcasm needs its own font
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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