careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
