yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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