I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?