To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
