hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
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Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
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I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
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