i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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