your room smells of hookers.
And success
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
This can only be settled by a dance off.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize
