Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
