so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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