I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
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