Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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