Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
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