You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
