I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
