Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
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