Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
