You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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