That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
