Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
