i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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