he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
