I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
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