DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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