CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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