With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
