woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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