I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
