How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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