first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Randomize