I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
so let's talk penis.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
