covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
