im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
There r osticjed everywhere
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
