Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
you made out with another girl for some wings
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Randomize
