I'm so fucking centered right now
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I just want to make out with him forever
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
