is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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