Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Randomize
