our cab driver is having phone sex.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Randomize
