I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
