She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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