i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
