is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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