Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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