return my video game
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Randomize