____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize