the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
