remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
