In the future we'll all be gay
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
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