i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
