i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
