Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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