Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
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