Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
