i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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