I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
