this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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