i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
