Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
