there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
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I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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